Onward and upward

 Returning to a place and to the people of that place after a long period of growth elsewhere can be strikingly uncomfortable. Differences that are subtle from afar explode under the microscope-like conditions of the return. So it is said that the illusion that once was will be grieved, even if the illusion will continue to be played out from afar. Once again, my place is unknown, as I grew without people and they grew at differing rates without me and now it is all tiptoes and broken glass. I am too clumsy for such requirements. This is not to say that all the brotherly love is lost, which makes it all the more difficult and uncomfortable. There are people it is easy to fall right back into step with, and others that it is near impossible to do so with.

 The curse/blessing continues in relation to my addictive quality. It is unfortunate, as the one whom I have built a strong foundation with appears immune to it, but perhaps that is why the foundation is so strong. There are no inklings of the unhealthy addiction others have mistaken for love, just a commitment and mutual fondness for one another. It is curious, as my mate does not understand many things about me and can be quite judgmental at times, but there is no doubt that our partnership is solid and unbreakable. I sincerely hope that any of those who still succumb to unrequited torment will eventually be able to see past it, as none are bad people and none deserve to perpetually be bothered/distracted by my existence. It is true that I play my cards close to the heart; as I believe that is where they belong; and that I am right where I belong.

It is an incredible and rare thing to be fully trusted; it says a lot about one's character what is done with that trust. If you want someone to be trustworthy, treat them as though you already know that they are and trust that whatever they do, it will end up serving your best interest.