Dawn dawning

A lot changes in 4 years. One doesn't fully realize how much one's changed until one spends a few hours with someone who doesn't allow him/herself to acknowledge that one has. When Iggy told me in October that I had changed since last he saw me, I didn't really believe him. When I met with a ghost from the past just before sunrise this morning, I realized that Iggy had been right. I am stronger now, more readily able to see through people, more capable of standing up for myself... I take people's shit to a point but I decide that point and then I set things straight. I like being alone; I don't like being abandoned and/or disrespected, but I like being alone; and I stay that way even while surrounded by others. I'm more selective as to whom I allow to know certain things about me. I still desire more than anything to be loved but I no longer sacrifice my values in attempts to attain it. I'm more of a bitch than I used to be. I am more contemplative and philosophical. I am more at peace with myself.

Looking up at the just lit up sky through the roof of that black t-bird, we sat, both smiling, he at the memories and I at the future. Our bodies inches apart, our minds far from close, I saw that this wasn't where I belonged. And with that I said goodbye.