Awake

I read a book that was not meant to be read... and now I cannot sleep. Sometimes one realizes just how similar another is to oneself; and it is disconcerting. We go about our lives thinking that our feelings and thoughts are unique; then we come across books that aren't meant to be read... and that all changes. One would think that being similar to one's almost boyfriend would be a good thing...I think it is only a sign of almost definite doom to any relationship one may start with this said person. One so similar is much easier to harm... one knows exactly where to poke, exactly where to prod. It is second nature to help and yet to harm simultaneously... we are, in essence, evil manipulative people, with hearts of gold. Even in the relations that we have now, irreversible harm is only a heartbeat away. And, once again, I find myself even wondering if it matters, if he and I do not deserve the pain that we will inevitably leave each other with sooner or later. To believe oneself worthy of pain is not a grand thing; it leads one into many bad situations and hinders one's desire to save oneself from these said disasters. Some members of society would have been better off had they never encountered me in their lives. I only hope that I help more than I harm once all is said and done.